Copy Paste (not my creation)

A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry.

Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!"
The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well.

The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" The congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"

Moral of the story: Don't copy paste what you can't

Vituperate

A distrait dogmatic virulent vitriolic vociferous whimsical farcical boorish cacopygian bitch
These are still not enough to vituperate any girl.
After all, they are species with brain having a paired ganglia in the head end and consisting of about 250,000 brain cells.

And if these lines are not understood by girls, my point is proved.

FUCK-LOVE

FUCK a girl just once and she will happily LOVE you for the rest of your life
and LOVE a girl just once and she will FUCK your life forever

CP's GF -- 20 words per second

My dear friend CP is honored with the most talented speaker in the whole world, and that too in the form of his dearest GF, a GF who speaks faster than AC frequency. The poor little boy used to come home and fall flat on the bed ( with his shoes on ) and seemed as if he had come after battling 3rd world war.

I hate you

I was fine before you walked into my world
I met you and my life became so curled twisted and whirled
I loved you so much believing you as my fate
I realize it now that it was the hell's gate
I don't know loving you what have I got
I just know right now I hate you a lot

I hate your hair, your clothes, I hate your style
I hate your humor, your voice, I hate your smile
I hate to see you because the more I see you, the more I think of you
I hate to see everything that belongs to you because they just remind me of you
I hate you when you don’t even care to talk at me
I hate you when you ignore the stupid me
I hate you when I wake up in the morning because you are the first thing on my mind
I hate you when I go to bed at night because you are in my dreams every time
I hate you when I’m feeling lonely and you not there
I hate you when you’re sad and don't share
I hate you because you don’t know how much I love you
I hate you because the truth is that I can’t hate you

Won't mind you (situational)

Don't worry won't mind you.
Just wanna remind you.
There is a person in this part of town who sometimes feel lonely.
His heart beats and mind wonders for one damsel only.

Poem from GOD

I'm sorry - I was wrong

Too often we don't realize
What we have until it is gone
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
We hold dearest to our hearts
And we allow foolish things
To tear our lives apart.

Far too many times we let
Unimportant things into our mind
And then it's usually too late
To see what made us blind.

So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take that time to say the words
Before your time is through.

Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the little things
in life that mean a lot.

I am hurt

ONLY 3 things I want to tell you

1. You very well know how much I am hurt
When you don’t talk to me, I am hurt
When you don’t reply my SMS, I am hurt
When you don’t pick my calls, I am hurt
When you don’t call back after missed calls, I am hurt
When I had to think to call you, I am hurt
When you are online and don’t ping me, I am hurt
When your phone is busy, I am hurt
When I see you sad on phone, I am hurt
When I see you happy on phone, I am hurt
When you are sad and I can’t help, I am hurt
When you are happy and don’t share with me, I am hurt
When you are sad and because of me, I am hurt
When you are happy and because of someone else (you know who), I am hurt
When you talk about someone else, I am hurt
When you don’t talk about someone else, I am hurt
When you say thanks, I am hurt
When you say sorry, I am hurt
When you say sorry if I hurt you, I am hurt
When you hurt me, I am hurt
When I hurt you, I am hurt

2. You are a bad friend too
I never needed to think to call you
I never hesitated to ping you
I never worried about the consequences before telling you something
I never felt so unimportant to someone so important to me
I never felt so lame still trying to fix things
I never felt so grounded, with shattered self respect
I never had any friend who is so heartless
You were never there for me when I needed you, maybe I am excluding few times when you were there when I needed you
You never wanted to repair the damages
You never wanted to take any pains to maintain the friendship
You don't realize your mistakes even if you say you do, even if you say sorry, even if you are told
You still not trying to make things up
You still not trying to improve our relationship
I always kept you at upper hand but "A friend in power is a friend lost"
You taught me "A friend in need is a friend to be avoided."

3. Can't forget you
The more I try to forget you, the more I remember you
The more I ignore you, the more I notice you
The more I try to hate you, the more I love you
The more I want your absence, the more I feel your presence

The more I am hurt, the more I write and the more I write, the more I am hurt

My name is Khan

How did I start this song any way
When my heart was filled with dismay
When I could not take this everyday
When I just wanted to run away

To suppress my feelings I had some Rum
My feet got heavy, my eyes got numb
I was hurt and I was sad, I felt so dumb
Fuck you people, here I come

All the Fears and all the tears were gone
It felt as if I was a new Spawn
Wanted to have fun, wanted to be moron
My name is Khan and the game was ON

Now I am loving to sing this song
Somewhere I really don't belong
Meeting new strange faces along
This journey is going to be very long